Another
view on discerning God's will, setting personal priorities in accordance with
God's plan:
“If God is the
telling influence in our lives, this must be reflected in the way we make
choices.” Wilkie Au and Noreen
Cannon Au, The Discerning Heart, p. 2
Setting priorities, discerning God’s plan is more an art than a science. When I was growing up in the church, I heard a simple way of discerning God’s will. I needed it then, but have since found that this method is a bit simplistic. I was told to line up Scripture, feelings, and circumstances. If the three lined up, I could be reasonably sure that I was moving in God’s will. That method had its values, but now raises questions in my mind: What feelings? Which circumstances? Which parts of Scripture?
How do Christians know God’s will?
Let's begin by stating three pre-conditions for knowing
God’s will, for setting appropriate priorities:
1. Before beginning the process of discernment, Christians
should be committed to doing the will of God, when they learn it. They should be
able to say ‘I want God’s plan more than my own.’
2. As they enter the process of discernment, Christians
should acknowledge, and in admitting, at least partially defuse the power of
their own preferences in particular decisions.
Ideally, Christians move toward a point of indifference relating to (and
thus of freedom from) their own preferences.
3. Ideally Christians should be continually open to God and
others helping them to become aware of, and free from, “inordinate
attachments.” (The quoted phrase comes from St. Ignatius of Loyola.) Another
word for “inordinate attachments” is ‘addictions,’ i.e., attitudes,
actions, substances, toward which we are driven rather than drawn. (None of us
ever becomes completely free from “inordinate attachments,” primarily
because we have many we don’t recognize.)
Also, wach Christian should seek to distinguish among three
areas of his or her life:
1. External,
physical circumstances over which he or she has little, if any control. (Some
circumstances are, for all practical purposes, fixed. Some circumstances only
other people can change.)
2. Choices over which he or she have not complete but
significant control. (Some life factors a person can change immediately. Some
can be changed but require a bit more time.)
3. The deepest part of his or her being over which the
person has little, if any control, e.g., who the person is in his or her deepest
self, who God made him or her to be, how the sin of others and his or her own
sin have damaged one’s core being. In these areas, God is the only one strong
enough to make significant changes.
The first and third areas do not require discernment so much
as grace and patience. In the second area, Christians do have more freedom, and
thus a greater need for discernment.
In realms where we need to exercise discernment, there are also three regions, seen best as concentric circles. In the outermost circle are decisions where we know God has said ‘No.’ We don’t need discernment there. We need merely to obey. In the center circle appear decisions where we know God has said, “Yes.” These matters require little discernment; again we need primarily to obey. The middle circle is the one that potentially causes us uncertainty.
In some cases, God feels little preference. I don’t know definitely God’s plan for what brand of toothpaste I should purchase, primarily because it is not likely that God cares a whole lot. In other more important decisions, God does wish me to seek and find his plan. How do we discern God’s will in these decisions?
Believe me, we are going to answer that
question soon, but first let’s deal with some methods to avoid in discerning
God’s will. Briefly summarized, these are:
1. Living by some set of external ‘shoulds,’ that
we have not consciously and appropriate internalized.
2. Being dominated by peer pressure, even good peer
pressure.
3. Being addicted to pleasing other people.
We all need to continually ask God to become aware of and
free from these dangers.
1. Be extremely cautious about making important decisions
when feeling agitated or depressed. Even more important, while feeling deeply
discouraged or angry, don’t quickly reverse decisions made in better moments.
2. Discuss the decision (and the decision making process)
with others, especially those in your family who will be deeply affected by a
decision you are making.
Steps to take (finally, huh?):
1. Set out (in your mind, or better yet, on paper) as
clearly as you can the issue that needs to be resolved, the question that needs
to be answered.
2. Realize that God is not looking to hide his will.
But neither does he send emails on request laying out every detail of his plan.
Why not? He is as concerned in building our relationship with him during the
process of our learning his will, as he is in our knowing his will.
3. Learn, over time, to recognize God’s voice.
4. Learn, over time, to recognize your own deepest inner
voice which God has placed within you.
How do we accomplish steps three and
four?
1. Wise Christian mentors and friends can help us in this
process, both in recognizing God’s voice and our own deepest inner voice.
Consider holding a Quaker ‘clearness meeting,’ involving a group of wise
Christian friends who gather with you for a session in which “nothing is
allowed except authentic, challenging, open, loving questions so that committee
members do not burden the focus person with their own agenda, but help the
individual discover his or her own” (Parker Palmer, quoted on p. 126 in Wilkie
Au and Noreen Cannon Au, The Discerning
Heart).
2. Give yourself adequate time to listen to God and to
yourself. Give God time to work on your subconscious mind. In wording borrowed
from Quaker tradition, wait to see how way opens or does not open.
3. Christians can keep on looking at all the “threads that
make up the web of our daily lives.” Wilkie
Au and Noreen Cannon Au, The Discerning
Heart, p. 37
4. Consider each significant components of your being, those
to whom you normally pay attention and those you ignore. Be conscious of ways
you have sensed God’s leadership in the past. At the same time, be open to God
confirming his plan through a variety of means.
To
what aspects of your being should you listen?
1. Some of us don’t pay adequate attention to our reason. Suggestions?
a. Look at the situation as realistically as you can, seeing yourself,
significant others, and the facts as they are, rather than how you would like
them to be.
b. Make a list of the values involved. Are conflicting values
causing the uncertainty in this particular decision? If so, become aware of this
dilemma.
c. Make lists of pros and cons of various options.
d. Imagine the advice you would give someone else who
came to you with a situation like your own.
e. Imagine yourself looking back from your deathbed to
the decision you are about to make. How does that perspective give you new
insight?
2. Some of us don’t pay adequate attention to our emotions. (The word
‘emotions’ here means much more than ‘if it feels good, do it.’ The word
‘emotions’ here means much more than short-term, superficial feelings. Look
instead for deeper inner responses to joy, peace, and hope, or on the other
hand, great anxiety and discouragement. Try askingyourself these questions:
a. What relationships, activities, situations, etc., draw you
toward peace, joy, toward God?
b. What relationships, activities, situations, etc., draw you
away from peace, joy, from God?
c. In what types of situations do you feel most alive?
d. What types of situations kill my spirit?
Or try the examen:
a. At the end of a day, relax, and review the day’s events.
b. Relive moments that gave you joy. Thank God for them.
c. Relive moments that made you feel uncomfortable. What do
you learn about yourself through your reflection on these moments?
d. Ask: “Where have I seen the hand of God at work in me,
in others, in circumstances?
e. Over time, look for patterns in your responses to these
questions.
3. Some of us don’t pay adequate attention to our deepest
desires. Finding these deepest desires can be like taking layers off an onion.
Remember that all a mature Christian’s deepest longing center on God himself.
a. Distinguish
your deepest desires from more superficial desires.
b. Distinguish between your true desires (feeling drawn
toward) and your addictions (feeling driven toward).
c. Your deepest desires are those that build in you a
desire to love God and people.
d. Focus most on deep desires that remain strong over long
periods of time.
4. Some of us don’t pay adequate attention to our bodies.
Ask:
a. What situations regularly make you tense up (for example,
in your stomach, neck, back)?
b. What situations regularly make you sick?
c. What are your ‘gut feelings?’
5. Some of us don’t pay adequate attention to our imaginations. Ask:
What vision of future well-being is God giving you?
Wanting to give you?